


For the Love of Towels

by Mirgaxus, NachoDiablo



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M, Mutual Pining, SPEW, Towels, crackfic, dobbius
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-09
Updated: 2017-06-09
Packaged: 2018-11-12 02:45:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11152587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mirgaxus/pseuds/Mirgaxus, https://archiveofourown.org/users/NachoDiablo/pseuds/NachoDiablo
Summary: The smoldering tale of two kindred spirits, bonding over their shared love of freedom and towels. Or: the crack fic no one asked for but we made anyway.





	For the Love of Towels

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Wereflamingo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wereflamingo/gifts).



> _**Wereflamingo:**_ _Help me go to sleep in a couple of hours?_
> 
> _**Mirgaxus:**_ _By reminding? :)_
> 
> _**Nacho:**_ _will do!_
> 
> _**Wereflamingo:**_ _Yes, I didn't expect a lullaby :P_
> 
> _**Nacho:**_ _brb teleporting to wereflamingo's living room_
> 
> _**Wereflamingo:**_ _Er, I hope you don't mind I'm not wearing clothes then_
> 
> _**Nacho:**_ _*teleports faster*_
> 
> _**Mirgaxus:**_ _LOL_
> 
> _**Mirgaxus:**_ _"Bed time story" and "hacking computer to force you out of internet" came to my mind before the sensible idea of a simple reminder tbh_
> 
> _**Mirgaxus:**_ _I blame late hour_
> 
> _**Wereflamingo:**_ _I like the idea of a bedtime story_
> 
> _**Mirgaxus:**_ _Once upon a time_
> 
> _**Mirgaxus:**_ _There was... an elf_

 

~

 

Once upon a time there was an elf. A very happy elf who had many other elf friends.

 

The elf had a very special wizard friend, who was tall, dark, and handsome, and gay, and also a dog sometimes.

 

> _**Mirgaxus:**_ _I was talking about legolas but bc nacho is obsessed with dobby/sirius i allow this discourse_
> 
> _**Nacho:**_ _LOL_

 

The elf and Doggyman had not always been friends. Actually, before meeting this elf, Doggyman hadn't been fond of elves much. But there was something special about this elf. His large green eyes held a promise of mystery that the dog-like wizard was eager to uncover.

 

While cooped up in the dark house where Doggyman was forced to live, the memory of those eyes kept Doggyman (relatively) sane. Doggyman sensed that the elf was a kindred spirit, the one creature in the world who understood his pain, his loss of freedom.

 

One day, the elf had to visit Doggyman's house to deliver something for his elderly jackhole wizard boss. When he arrived, Doggyman was wrapped in only a towel.

 

“Oh sorry, I just got out of the tub,” Doggyman said, “It was very hot and steamy.”

 

“Oh Dobby does not mind, Dobby likes towels. That's a softer looking towel than any Dobby has ever had!”

 

Doggyman smirked as he saw those large green eyes roaming across his torso. "You can have this one then." He removed the towel and tossed it to the floor at the elf’s feet.

 

> _**Wereflamingo:**_ _You two are terrible_
> 
> _**Wereflamingo:** _ _Keep going_

 

The elf squealed in delight and took the towel and pressed his face in it, enjoying the soft and warm feeling. Then he looked at naked Doggyman with worry (and something else wink wink nudge nudge) in his eyes, and said, "But isn't sir cold now?"

 

Doggyman stared at the tented tea towel around the elf’s waist. “Seems pretty hot in here, actually.”

 

The elf looked at Doggyman's flushed body and then took off his own towel, leaving only the mismatched socks, long ass rainbow scarf, mittens and turban on. The elf said coyly, "Dobby does not own much, but can give Dobby's towel to sir too!"

 

“Ah, but giving me clothes is a sign of freedom, and I’d never want to be free of you.” Doggyman walked slowly towards the elf, kneeling down so their faces were inches apart. He leaned in slowly, eyes locked on those thin lips.

 

"But only when Dobby is free can Dobby choose, and Dobby chooses sir.... _always_ ", whispered the elf breathlessly and leaned in, kissing the doggyman with his thin little lips. The elf had to twist his head far to avoid poking Doggyman with his long nose.

 

Doggyman snuffled slightly as he deepened the kiss, pulling the elf closer. Tentatively, the elf reached out to stroke one hand over the firm chest in front of him...

 

Down to his abs...

 

Then lower still...

 

"The blasphemy!" croaked a hoarse, scandalized voice of an intruder. The grumpy elf stood in the doorway and stared at the couple. "If- if the mistress had been here to see this-!"

 

> _**Nacho:**_ _Omg is this turning into a threesome_
> 
> _**Nacho:**_ _Bc there are limits_
> 
> _**Mirgaxus:**_ _What are “limits”?_
> 
> _**Mirgaxus:**_ _But no, dobby/sirius is sacred and pure and how could there be anyone else for either of them_
> 
> _**Nacho:**_ _Whew_

 

Doggyman, startled but furious at the interruption, snarled at the intruder. "GTFO Kreacher! Of all the creatures, you should understand our love!"

 

The grumpy elf, no matter how much he hated the other elf and Doggyman, indeed remembered Doggyman's brother, the only soul in the world that had seen past the grumpy elf's grumpiness and seen beauty there - and so, with a lone tear dropping from his eye, the grumpy elf nodded gravely and without words left them alone again, to mourn his lost love.

 

Doggyman smirked and looked back at the not-grumpy elf. "Now where were we?"

 

> _**Nacho:**_ _*sniff* Reg!!!!_
> 
> _**Nacho:**_ _wereflamingo are you still with us or have you deleted your gchat app_
> 
> _**Mirgaxus:**_ _She might have_
> 
> _**Mirgaxus:**_ _Ops_
> 
> _**Mirgaxus:**_ _Or maybe this story was such a success she fainted and is getting some sleep :D_
> 
> _**Nacho:**_ _XD_
> 
> _**Nacho:**_ _honestly idk if i can write dobby touching sirius' dick_
> 
> _**Nacho:**_ _the mechanics are off_
> 
> _**Mirgaxus:**_ _We can end it here_
> 
> _**Mirgaxus:**_ _Since story audience seems not to be here either XD_

 

Remus came back, realized that the Weasley twins had played with love potions and had a stern talk with them. He locked Sirius in their room until the potions wore off.

 

And so ended the Dobby/Sirius story that might have been.

 

But later that night, they both lie awake in their separate beds.

 

Wondering.

 

What if?

 

But certainly it was only the after effect of potions....

 

Certainly it could not have been anything more…

 

The end.

 

> _**Nacho:**_ _A+ content_
> 
> _**Mirgaxus:**_ _Yeees_
> 
> _**Wereflamingo:**_ _you guys should post it_
> 
> _**Mirgaxus:**_ _Wereflamingo! You didn't delete your hangouts :D yay_
> 
> _**Wereflamingo:**_ _I'm not sure it's conducive to sleep, but it's very good quality for a crack story so you should share it with the world_
> 
> _**Wereflamingo:**_ _Let everyone else suffer too_
> 
> _**Wereflamingo:**_ _Also even though I did not participate in it I think it might be my fault?_
> 
> _**Wereflamingo:**_ _What have I done_


End file.
